Commandancy of The Spurs
Bejar, May 20th 2017
To the People of Texas & All Spurs fans in the World-
Fellow Baseline Bums & compatriots-
I am besieged, by scores or more of the Warriors under Steve Kerr- I have sustained a continual Bombardment of three pointers, & cannonade for several days & have lost Kawhi, and David Lee- The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion, otherwise, the garrison of defenders are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken – I have answered the demand by subbing in Davis Bertans, and Jonathan Simmons. Our flag waves on proudly from the walls of the AT&T center – I SHALL NEVER SURRENDER OR RETREAT. I call on you in the name of all that is Spurs, & everything dear to the puro San Antonio character, to come to our aid, with all dispatch – The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily, as well as undeserved praise from the media & will no doubt have their egos inflated times three or four thousand in four or five days. If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what it means to be a Spur.
VICTORY OR DEATH
Stephen Dennis Burkholder
Lt. Col of AT&T Center
P.S. – The Lord is on our side – When the enemy appeared in sight Zaza Scrubchulia was too scared to suit up and play us at home.
Travis, William B. “The Letter.” The Travis Letter Returns! – The Letter. The Republic of Texas, 17 Oct. 2014. Web. 20 May 2017.